Saturday, September 7, 2019

The Four Weeks of Elul - 5779: Week Two – Personal and Professional Relationships.




My Dear Friends,

July 1st marked the beginning of my 10th year as your Senior Rabbi.  It is hard to believe that so much time has passed since Sue, Ethan and I left Albuquerque to come to Denver. (Our daughter, Elana, was a sophomore in College out of state at the time.) We feel truly blessed to be part of this Kehillah Kedosha (sacred community). One of the ways that we mark the passage of time is to reflect on the relationships that we have forged and lost. I have been a rabbi for over 32 years. This means that I now find myself in the blessed position of being able to perform the weddings of the children of couples I married when I was a newly minted Rabbi. I also have had the difficult task of burying dear friends who I have met over the years. Each person with whom we connect becomes a touchstone along the path of our lives.

Truly, it is the relationships we create that give our lives beauty, depth, meaning and purpose. In the book of Genesis, when Adam was created in the Garden of Eden, God said: “It is not good for humans to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18). Indeed, it is possible to state that the entire Torah is a guidebook for strengthening and maintaining relationships – those between humans and God, and those between ourselves and others as well.

Our tradition teaches that on Yom Kippur the sins we have committed against God will be forgiven if we are truly repentant. The sins we commit against others, however, cannot be forgiven unless and until we have asked those whom we have wronged to forgive us.   In many ways, this is one of the most difficult aspects of Cheshbon Ha-nefesh – taking an inventory/accounting of our souls.  It means that we have to take risks by reaching out to others.  We may encounter resistance, anger, or resentment.  Sometimes it is impossible to reach out to others – and yet, it is our duty to do all that we can to assess whether or not reconciliation is possible.  If there is even the slightest hope then we need to try - even if we fail.

Each of us is involved in many kinds of relationships – from families and loved ones, to work associates, to acquaintances we see only occasionally.  Our tradition teaches that every person with whom we come in contact helps us to understand the profound truth that all humanity is created in the image of God.  As such, all our interactions with others – from the most intimate to the merely mundane – contain the potential for holiness.  If we approach them from this perspective, then maintaining healthy relationships takes on a sacred dimension.

The following questions are designed to make us think about the current status of the many different relationships in our lives. Again, this is by no means a complete list.  Hopefully it will provide you with a starting point for strengthening the relationships in your lives.

1.      Have I set aside time to let the most important people in my life know how much I care about them?
2.      Have I taken part in any business or personal transactions this past year that were against my religious, moral or ethical principles?
3.      Have I done all that I could to repair damaged relationships in my life?
4.      Have I ignored or been impatient with those I love the most?
5.      Are there people I have wronged that I need to ask to forgive me?
6.      Will I be able to forgive those who come to me to ask for my forgiveness?
7.      Are there people that I need to forgive who will not acknowledge that they have hurt me? (This is, perhaps, the most difficult question of all…)

Again - these questions are in no way complete.  They are designed to help all of us to begin the process of looking deep within ourselves and our souls as we enter the month of Elul. Some of them are repeated from previous years. Again, we want to hear from you. If you have thoughts, questions or comments about anything, we encourage you to let us know. Feel free to contact any of the Clergy at Temple if you want to explore any of these questions further. These questions will also be posted on my blog, the Temple Emanuel website (www.emanueldenver.org) , and our Facebook page. I also encourage you to attend the “4 Weeks of Elul Study Sessions” every Thursday afternoon from 5:30-6:30 at Temple.  Last week was our first class and was filled with eager and joyous learners. You don’t have to come to every class to find them meaningful.

May you utilize these and all your questions to help you gain a better understanding of your personal and professional relationships.

L’Shanah Tovah,

Rabbi Joseph R. Black





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