Friday, April 27, 2018

An "Acceptable" Prayer for the US House of Representatives (Satire)

With the news that outgoing Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan has asked the Chaplain of the United States House of Representatives, Father Patrick Conroy to resign due to the "unacceptable" nature of his prayers on the House floor, I humbly submit this invocation as a potential substitute that may be more in keeping with the religious values of those who were uncomfortable with his prophetic bent....
Heavenly Father who watches over us.
On this sacred day of deliberation, we pray that You guard our nation and its patriots.
Secure our borders and keep away those who seek our shelter.
Protect the rights of all who seek to defend themselves against the ugliness we do not wish to see.
Arm us as we arm ourselves against the onslaught of our enemies:
·         Those who dare to challenge our conscience
·         Those who cannot rise up out of the despair they have created for themselves
·         Those who see the holiness in the unwashed, the discarded and the degraded.
Lord – we have been blessed with a nation that we know is far superior to all others.  Protect us from harsh words and policies that challenge our destiny. 
Let us build a fortress of prayer that will shield us from things we do not want to confront.
We know that You love us and we thank you for Your many blessings.
May the wealth and prosperity that we have inherited allow us to live in continued comfort while we deny those who would dare to ask our help.
In this way we can affirm our faith and continue to reap the benefits of Your blessings.
And let us say:  AMEN
OR perhaps, the words of the prophet might be more appropriate:
Isaiah 58:3-7:
3 Why, when we fasted, did You not see? When we starved our bodies, did You pay no heed? Because on your fast day you see to your business and oppress all your laborers!
4 Because you fast in strife and contention, and you strike with a wicked fist! Your fasting today is not such as to make your voice heard on high.
5 Is such the fast I desire, a day for men to starve their bodies? Is it bowing the head like a bulrush and lying in sackcloth and ashes? Do you call that a fast, a day when Adonai is favorable?
6 No, this is the fast I desire: To unlock the fetters of wickedness, and untie the cords of the yoke to let the oppressed go free; to break off every yoke.

7 It is to share your bread with the hungry, and to take the wretched poor into your home; when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to ignore your own kin."


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