The Four Weeks of Elul - 5775. Week #3 - Personal and Professional Relationships.

Dear Friends,

The beautiful full moon we saw last night reminds us that we are halfway through the month of Elul.  The urgency of our Chesbon Hanefesh (self-reflection) is becoming more and more intense as we prepare to end this year and enter into the year 5776 on Rosh Hashanah.

This week, I want us to focus on our personal and professional relationships.  The Mishnah (Yoma 8:9) teaches us that those transgressions we have committed against God will be forgiven on Yom Kippur if we are truly repentant. Those transgressions we commit against other people, however, will not be forgiven unless and until we ask those we have harmed for forgiveness.

This is one of the most difficult aspects of the process of Teshuvah (returning and repentance).  Before we can approach others, we first have to look deep into ourselves and come to grips with our own frailties and mistakes. Common wisdom in many circles is that admitting mistakes is tantamount to failure.  We are taught – through the media and countless “self-help" movements – that our individual needs and desires should take precedent over those of others.  Judaism teaches the opposite.  To live in community is to constantly be in the process of teshuvah.  The rabbis taught “Repent one day before you die.” (Mishnah – Avot 2:15)  Since we can never know the day of our death, we should be in a constant state of repentance.  In addition, we are taught that when others come to us in a true state of teshuvah and ask us to forgive them – we are obligated to grant them our forgiveness.

Now I understand that there are certain things that seem unforgivable.  Some wounds heal very slowly and others never heal.  Forgiveness is not always possible.  And yet, we cannot forgo the process – even when it is painful.  That is the price that we pay for living in community. 

The following questions are designed to help us all look at the current state of our relationships with family, friends and colleagues.  They should in no way be seen as a complete list.  They are a beginning. 

1. How many times in the past year have I taken the love, trust and friendship that others offer me for granted?
2. Will I be able to forgive those who come to me to ask for my forgiveness?
3. What acts of forgiveness have I been a part of this year?  How did the act of forgiving others make me feel?
4. Are there people I have wronged that I need to ask to forgive me?
5. Have I taken part in any business or personal transactions this past year that were against my religious, moral or ethical principles?
6. Have I taken time recently to let the most important people in my life know how much I care about them?
7. Have I shut out the pain of others in other parts of the world?  In my country?  My City?  My congregation?  My neighborhood?  My family?

Again, I welcome your comments and suggestions for additional questions and formats that we can use.   If answering any of these questions causes you to want to speak to one of the Temple clergy, Rabbi Immerman, Cantors Heit and Sacks and I would welcome the opportunity.  Note that all of these materials will also be available in hard copy at the Temple Office. I will also post them on my blog – which is linked to both Facebook and our Temple Emanuel website.

If you know of anyone else who might want to receive these mailings – whether or not they are members of the congregation, contact the Temple and we will send them to you.

L’shanah Tovah U’metukah – May you have a good and sweet new year,

Rabbi Joseph R. Black

Four Weeks of Elul 5775. Week 2 - Our Spiritual Selves

As we enter the month of Elul, we have an opportunity to examine and evaluate our spiritual lives.  That’s an easy sentence to write, but a much more difficult one to explain.  What IS spirituality?  It certainly is one of those words that mean different things to different people. For the purposes of this list of questions, I want you to focus on Spirituality as referring to those aspects of your life that help you to feel connected to something greater than yourself. We grow spiritually when we feel that our lives have meaning and purpose and we are open to the possibility of the miraculous around us.

During this time of Chesbon Ha Nefesh, one of our tasks is to examine the status of our relationship with God, Torah, and our own mortality. As always, the following questions should not be perceived as a complete listing – they are merely a beginning. If you have other questions that you think may help others in our community, I would love to receive them.  I will post them on my blog – which is linked to both Facebook and our Temple Emanuel website.

QUESTIONS – WEEK TWO – SPIRITUAL SELVES

1. What events have caused me to question my faith during the course of the past year?
2. When/where was the last time I felt close to God (however you define God)…?
3. Jewish tradition teaches that all of us are created in the Divine Image.  When was the last time I looked for holiness in the people that I love the most?
4. What aspects of my personality reflect the values that I have inherited from my family? From society? From Popular culture? From my own inner holiness?
5. When was the last time I was able to pray without any distraction?
6. How often, during the course of the past year, have I been able to set aside my own needs for something bigger than myself?
7. During those moments when I did feel close to God (however you define God…) this past year, was I able to hold on to those feelings and share them with others?

Again, these lists are in no way complete.  They are designed to help us as we prepare for the High Holy Days.  If any of these questions has caused to you want to speak to me or any of the other clergy at Temple Emanuel, please do not hesitate to call us at 303-388-4013.  You can also send me an email at Black@EmanuelDenver.org.

May you utilize these and all of your questions to help you gain a better understanding of your spiritual selves.

L’Shanah Tovah,

Rabbi Joseph R. Black

The Four Weeks of Elul 5775 – Week One: Our communal Selves.

The Four Weeks of Elul 5775 – Week One

My Dear Friends,

Today marks the first day of the Hebrew month of Elul – the month preceding the High Holy Days. It is customary during this holy month to begin intensive personal preparations for the New Year. This process, called Cheshbon Ha-Nefesh – ‘an inventory of our souls’ – requires that each of us engage in a process of self-examination. During this sacred season we look closely at our relationships, thoughts, deeds, fears and dreams. We do this so that we can enter into the Yamim Noraim – the Days of Awe – spiritually and personally refreshed and prepared for the process of teshuvah (repentance/returning). Our tradition teaches that the month of Elul is when ask those around us whom we have wronged to forgive us for our actions. We are also commanded to forgive those who ask us as well. As we reflect back over the past year, it is important that we put every aspect of our lives into perspective. As in previous years, during the month of Elul I will be sending out weekly lists of seven questions (one for each day of the week) to members of our community and to all who wish to receive them. These questions are designed to help us examine our lives in all of the varied aspects and arenas in which we live: Communal, Spiritual, Physical, and Interpersonal. Hopefully, by answering these questions we will be better prepared to enter into the New Year. The purpose of these questions is not to make us feel bad or unworthy, but rather to “nudge” us into looking at these vitally important aspects of our lives. There will be seven questions in each list – one for every day of the week. I welcome your comments and suggestions for additional questions and formats that we can use.   If answering these questions causes you to want to speak to one of the Temple clergy, Rabbi Immerman, Cantor Heit, Cantor Sacks and I would welcome the opportunity.  Note that all of these materials will also be available in hard copy at the Temple Office.  They also will be posted on my blog and linked to both the Temple website and Facebook page. If you know of anyone else who might want to receive these mailings – whether or not they are members of the congregation, please contact the Temple office and we will be happy to send them out. Week One: Communal Selves The past several weeks have been filled with divisiveness – from within and without. Reactions to the nuclear deal with Iran threaten to divide us.  The specter of politics and policy becoming intertwined with communal commitment and our relationship with the State of Israel looms threateningly large on the horizon.  I am concerned that our disagreements may harm our relationships with our elected leadership, the State of Israel, and one another.  While conflicts almost always arise over complicated matters, the fact that individuals and organizations on both sides of the political divide are using the issue of support or opposition to the accords as a litmus test of loyalty is a development that we can ill afford. We owe it to ourselves to learn as much as we can about the complexities of the agreement.  Read what others are saying.  Understand that intelligent people have come to different conclusions  based on their understanding and perspective of the world around them.  We can agree to disagree – but, in the process of doing so, we must respect each individual’s own decisions. I was in Israel last month and, while our countries are very similar, there are also important differences.  Israelis love to argue.  They do it with passion and purpose.  The halls of the Knesset (the Israeli Parliament) and the coffee shops on the streets are often echoing with shouts and disagreements.  And yet, after the arguments are over, people on different sides of the ideological spectrum can sit down together and maintain close friendships.  Here in the States, disagreements all too often lead to disenfranchisement.  One of our tasks, as we approach this New Year, is to find pathways of recognition and understanding that will allow us to have differing viewpoints, but maintain our relationships and shared values. The following are a few questions designed to help us explore our communal selves as we begin the process of Cheshbon Hanefesh: Have I taken advantage of all that my congregation and community have to offer?  Have I taken my own comfort for granted and “looked the other way” when I saw poverty or despair in my community? Have I allowed my thoughts and feelings about the Iran deal to attack those with whom I disagree? Regardless of political perspective, have I been vocal in my support of the State of Israel? When I am at synagogue, have I done all that I can to make others feel welcomed in the same way that I want to feel welcome? When asked to help support the important institutions in my community, have I given as much as I could or should? What’s the best thing I did this past year to assist my synagogue or community?  These questions are in no way complete.  They are designed to help all of us to begin the process of looking deep within ourselves and our souls as we enter into the month of Elul.  Again, we want to hear from you. If you have thoughts, questions or comments about anything we encourage you to let us know.  May you utilize these and all of your questions to help you gain a better understanding of your communal selves. L’Shanah Tovah, Rabbi Joseph R. Black Note - thank you to my colleague, Rabbi Alan Litwak who pointed out that numbers' 2 and 7 were repeated in my original text.  I have changed #7 to reflect the ideas in the comment below....