My Dear Friends,
July 1st marked the beginning of my 10th
year as your Senior Rabbi. It is hard to
believe that so much time has passed since Sue, Ethan and I left Albuquerque to
come to Denver. (Our daughter, Elana, was a sophomore in College out of state
at the time.) We feel truly blessed to be part of this Kehillah Kedosha (sacred community). One of the ways that we mark
the passage of time is to reflect on the relationships that we have forged and
lost. I have been a rabbi for over 32 years. This means that I now find myself
in the blessed position of being able to perform the weddings of the children
of couples I married when I was a newly minted Rabbi. I also have had the
difficult task of burying dear friends who I have met over the years. Each person
with whom we connect becomes a touchstone along the path of our lives.
Truly, it is the relationships we create that give our
lives beauty, depth, meaning and purpose. In the book of Genesis, when Adam was
created in the Garden of Eden, God said: “It
is not good for humans to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18). Indeed, it is possible
to state that the entire Torah is a guidebook for strengthening and maintaining
relationships – those between humans and God, and those between ourselves and
others as well.
Our tradition teaches that on Yom Kippur the sins we
have committed against God will be forgiven if we are truly repentant. The sins
we commit against others, however, cannot be forgiven unless and until we have
asked those whom we have wronged to forgive us. In many ways, this is one of the most
difficult aspects of Cheshbon Ha-nefesh –
taking an inventory/accounting of our souls. It means that we have to take risks by
reaching out to others. We may encounter
resistance, anger, or resentment.
Sometimes it is impossible to reach out to others – and yet, it is our
duty to do all that we can to assess whether or not reconciliation is possible. If there is even the slightest hope then we
need to try - even if we fail.
Each of us is involved in many kinds of relationships
– from families and loved ones, to work associates, to acquaintances we see
only occasionally. Our tradition teaches
that every person with whom we come in contact helps us to understand the
profound truth that all humanity is created in the image of God. As such, all our interactions with others –
from the most intimate to the merely mundane – contain the potential for
holiness. If we approach them from this
perspective, then maintaining healthy relationships takes on a sacred dimension.
The following questions are designed to make us think
about the current status of the many different relationships in our lives. Again,
this is by no means a complete list.
Hopefully it will provide you with a starting point for strengthening
the relationships in your lives.
1. Have I set aside time to let the most important people
in my life know how much I care about them?
2. Have I taken part in any business or personal
transactions this past year that were against my religious, moral or ethical
principles?
3. Have I done all that I could to repair damaged
relationships in my life?
4. Have I ignored or been impatient with those I love the
most?
5. Are there people I have wronged that I need to ask to
forgive me?
6. Will I be able to forgive those who come to me to ask
for my forgiveness?
7. Are there people that I need to forgive who will not
acknowledge that they have hurt me? (This is, perhaps, the most difficult
question of all…)
Again - these questions are in no way complete. They are designed to help all of us to begin
the process of looking deep within ourselves and our souls as we enter the
month of Elul. Some of them are repeated from previous years. Again, we want to
hear from you. If you have thoughts, questions or comments about anything, we
encourage you to let us know. Feel free to contact any of the Clergy at Temple
if you want to explore any of these questions further. These questions will
also be posted on my blog, the Temple Emanuel website (www.emanueldenver.org) ,
and our Facebook page. I also encourage you to attend the “4 Weeks of Elul Study Sessions” every Thursday afternoon from
5:30-6:30 at Temple. Last week was our
first class and was filled with eager and joyous learners. You don’t have to come
to every class to find them meaningful.
May you utilize these and all your questions to help
you gain a better understanding of your personal and professional relationships.
L’Shanah Tovah,
Rabbi Joseph R. Black
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