My Dear Friends,
I recently heard a story about a woman was flying
from Chicago to Denver. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted
to Omaha along the way.
The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay,
and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board
in 55 minutes…
Everybody got off the plane except the woman who stoically
sat in her seat…
A man noticed her as he walked by and then he saw the
seeing-eye dog that lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her. He could
also tell that she was a regular on this flight because the
pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, “Kathy, we are in Omaha for
almost an hour, would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”
Kathy replied and said, “No thanks, but maybe Buddy would
like a little walk.”
The pilot was happy to help her – and took Buddy off the
plane and into the terminal.
All the people in the gate area came to a complete stand
still when they looked up and saw the sunglasses-wearing pilot walk off the
plane with a seeing eye dog! This was followed by a mad rush to the ticket
counter to change their flights.
[PAUSE]
It’s so easy to make snap judgements about the world in
which we live, isn’t it? On this holiest night of the year, I want to talk
about how we allow our perceptions of the world around us to color - not only
the way we see things, but also how we speak to one
another. Let’s start with the prayer that began our service tonight
– Kol Nidre.
Kol Nidre is essentially a legalistic formula asking God to
not hold us accountable for vows that we will make during the coming year that
we cannot fulfill. That’s it.
But I want to expand our consciousness a bit
tonight. Rather than seeing Kol Nidre as an insurance policy against
perjury, perhaps we should also understand it as a petition for forgiveness.
Maybe we need to ask God to overlook not just the vows we utter, but also
the way we judge others and ourselves:
· for
the words that we say - words that wound;
· and
the words that we do NOT say – words that can heal.
It is a plea for understanding: “God,” we are asking,
“…please forgive us for our instinctual, gut-level reactions to the world
around us.” Please forgive us for:
· Speaking
without thinking,
· Lashing
out in anger
· Judging
others based on pre-conceived notions of who they are because of their
o Ethnic background
o Skin color
o Gender
o Sexuality
o Political affiliation
· Forgive
us for holding back words that need to be said.
· Forgive
us for remaining silent in the face of bigotry, inequality and abuse
In this light we can see the Kol Nidre prayer
as asking God to protect us from ourselves – when we make snap
judgements and pronouncements based on our first impressions – when we lash out
in anger and when we say stupid things; when we allow our basest impulses to
guide our actions.
This past summer, there was an incident which took place at
that most hallowed of sacred sanctuaries – Wrigley Field – home of
the 2016 world Champion Chicago Cubs – that brought this idea sharply
into focus.
The NPR commentator and host of the “Weekend Edition” radio
program, Scott Simon, wrote the following:
In the 4th inning of …[a]… game between the
Cubs and the St. Louis Cardinals. The Cubs first base coach tossed a foul ball
to a smiling youngster in the stands who wore a Cubs hat endearingly too
large for him. The kid bobbled the baseball. What people saw next in video
clips that zapped around the world was a man with close-cropped hair, who sat
behind the boy, scoop up the baseball and give it to the woman next to him.
Tweets and other social media posts began a barrage about
the man who filched a foul ball from a little boy. There could be no doubt. We
saw it.
The Cubs front office quickly dispatched a staffer down to
the seats. He gave the youngster a new ball signed by Javy Baez, the Cubs
shortstop. The little boy smiled under the brim of his boat-sized hat, and held
up two baseballs.
The Cubs tweeted the photo to say, "A @javy23baez
signed ball should take care of it."
What the Cubs discovered from people nearby, however, was
that the man in question wound up with four balls during the game, and gave
three to children, including the young man who had appeared to be swindled. He
also gave one to his wife; it was their anniversary.
Julian Green of the Cubs said in a statement,
"Unfortunately, a video that was quickly posted and unverified has made a
national villain out of an innocent man."
The man doesn't want to be identified, but said through the
team, "Many foul balls came our way that day and were happily shared among
the children in our area. No one left disappointed. I am not 'that guy' that
the media and social media made me out to be[i]
Simon concludes his essay with the question: “How
many of us today would rather be outraged than informed[ii]?”
In today’s world of instantaneous electronic social-media
driven communication, it is devilishly simple to spread rumors, innuendo and
false information with the click of a mouse. Our basest instincts
can be easily satisfied at any time, place or situation.
Indeed, there are many who thrive on and
profit from fomenting anger, fear, frustration and creating a
sense of outrage – especially during the non-stop political campaigning that
has become part and parcel of our daily lives. Just spend 20 minutes watching
television during an election year. The personal attacks, alternative
facts and abusive syntax that fill our eyes and ears can take
their toll. This hateful rhetoric plays on our emotions. It becomes
ingrained into our daily discourse.
The ability to score points by name calling and abusive
behavior is, for some, a badge of honor that we see reflected in the highest
offices of our land.
Regardless of political perspective, no one in this
sanctuary can deny that our nation is bitterly divided. Partisan
pundits and prognosticators have done an excellent job of driving wedges
between us.
While this may make for excellent reality Television drama
and compelling Twitter feeds, I fear that the overall degradation of civility
and discourse is causing a rupture in normative behavior that is essential for
a healthy society to flourish.
We have lost the ability to disagree in a respectful manner
– and this does not bode well for the future.
As I have said on numerous occasions, dialogue has been
replaced by diatribe – and we are all the worse as a result.
In the passage of Torah that we will read tomorrow morning -
in Deuteronomy 30:11-14 we find the following:
For this commandment which I command you this day is not too
hard for you, nor too remote. It is not in Heaven that you should
say: “Who will go up for us to heaven and bring it down to us, that
we may do it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say: “Who will cross
the sea for us and bring it over to us, that we may do it?” No, it is very near
to you, B’ficha Ul’va-ve-cha in your mouth and in your
heart, that you might do it.
B’ficha Ul’va-ve-cha –
in your mouth and in your heart.
I’ve read that passage hundreds of times over the years, and I never asked the question: “What does this really mean? Why does the Torah say “…in your mouth and in your heart?" Shouldn’t it say something like: “In your hands and in your heart?” or "...in your ears and in your mouth?" This year, however, for several reasons, it is foremost in my thoughts. And so, I ask the question:
What is the significance of B’ficha– “in your mouth?”
The great 11th century French Torah commentator, Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki, or “Rashi” writes “…the Torah has been given to you in writing and orally.”[iii]. this refers to both the written Torah and commentaries. It also means that if words of Torah are “in our mouths” then we can repeat them and pass them down to each generation.
What then, is the significance of B’lavecha – “in your hearts?”
The Psalmist wrote: “May the words of my mouth and the
meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight O God.[iv]” When our hearts are in synch with
words of Torah, then our words and actions are reflective of our basic values.
But perhaps, there is another way for us to understand this
text. In 1964, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King spoke the following
words on the occasion of his receiving the Nobel Peace Prize:
"Occasionally in life there are those moments of
unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols
called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the
inaudible language of the heart. [v]
In other words, there are moments when it is unnecessary –
and perhaps even unseemly to speak. Silence is often the best response to
situations in which we find ourselves – especially when we are tempted to give in to the cacophony of criticism
and contempt that has polluted our national discourse.
On this day of judgement – Yom Ha Din – we
must acknowledge that not only are we being judged – but that we judge others –
all the time. And so, today I want to ask us all to take a pledge –
to bring civility into our lives.
· to
learn to listen with our hearts – before we open our lips
· to
see the humanity in every person we encounter – even in those with whom we
disagree
· to
move away from talking points – and create building blocks of community and
consensus that focus on the inherent worth of every person created in the image
of God
But silence is not always the best response to every
situation. There are times when we must speak
out. This past year, we have seen how silence can be both criminal and
deadly – it can promote and sustain abusive patterns of behavior that destroy
lives and perpetuate brutal and dysfunctional systems of
oppression. We have also seen how powerful and brave voices can
challenge the status quo and uncover the ugliness that hides beneath the
surface.
The Catholic church is now being forced to come to terms
with the heavy price of its silence around predatory priests.
The #Metoo movement is freeing women to come forward
with disturbing tales of sexual harassment and abuse that in some
cases have brought down powerful men and forced all of us to
undergo a serious process of Cheshbon HaNefesh – soul
searching and repentance. There still is a long way to go – but dramatic
progress has been made.
In response to tragic and very public deaths involving celebrities,
we have seen a significant increase in and
awareness of suicide that is opening doorways
by challenging the stigmas around mental health. In turn, we are
witnessing the beginning of a national dialogue that
is helping us to see that mental illness is a disease that must be
addressed openly – without stigma – with compassion and
concern. This November, as part of our ongoing partnership with
Rose Medical Center, we will be hosting several programs focusing on a Jewish
response to mental health. Our Jewish community is also coming
together to talk about and create doorways of acceptance and welcome that
builds upon the pioneering work of Temple Emanuel’s Mental Health Task Force.
But there are still areas where we need to do much, much
more.
The epidemic of gun violence that is gripping our nation
must also be addressed – publicly and forcefully – in order to prevent more
tragic events that are becoming commonplace in our public spaces. If the
horrors of Columbine, Aurora, Sandy Hook, Las Vegas and hundreds of other
locations that have turned into monuments to monstrosity - where the blood of
innocents cries out to us from the ground ; if these do not cause us to stop
and think about the insanity of gun worship that has taken the lives of thousands
upon thousands of men, women and children then we, as a nation, are guilty of
the sins of indifference, idolatry, and self-absorption. It’s one
thing to protect the right of citizens to bear arms. It is quite another to
remain silent in the face of mass murder; to do nothing about stopping the
influx of assault weapons into our homes, schools, houses of worship
and literally every other place where people gather. Are we content with
defeatism? Can we accept that that we are powerless to change – or to
bring about change? My friends, committing to change is what this holy day
is all about.
The inhumanity of an immigration policy that severely limits
asylum seekers to a bare trickle and separates parents and children is immoral,
un-American, and contrary to our most basic Jewish values. The phrase, “you
shall not oppress the foreigner, for you know the heart of the foreigner
-having yourselves been foreigners in the Land of Egypt” – occurs no less than
36 times in the Torah. How many of us are sitting here this evening because our
ancestors fled from persecution to come to a new land of freedom and hope? How
many more perished in the flames of the Shoah because of a State Department
that was riddled with well documented anti-Semitism in the 1930’s and 40’s?[vi] If we remain silent in the face of
brutality and abuse, then we have no moral standing. If our words and
our deeds do not reflect our history, our values and the ache
in our hearts, then we are complicit.
The tension around race has brought many to question and
challenge the status quo. African Americans and other minorities are
standing up – and in some cases, kneeling down – and refusing to remain silent
or complacent in the face of institutionalized and internalized racism. It is
easy for those of us whose skin color is not dark to feign ignorance or cast
aspersions in response. For those of us who are uncomfortable seeing our own
privilege called out, this process is painful and profound. It is hard to
acknowledge or affirm the trepidation and fear that people of color endure
daily. And yet, a systematic and deeply ingrained pattern of prejudice exists
that is part and parcel – not only of our nation’s history, but
is also very real on the streets of our cities and the back alleyways of daily
life.
These are not political statements –
although I know that some of you will interpret them as such. They
come from a deep love of and concern for key
Jewish values that guide us as a people. And they are only a few examples
of the need to speak out – with our mouths and hearts when intolerance, hatred
and violence pollute our society.
During the month of November, Temple Emanuel will
be hosting a special exhibition entitled “Talking It
Out: Getting to Agreement.” We also will be hosting
several programs and speakers designed to help us engage in difficult
conversations: to listen to one another and find common ground – even with our
differences. I hope that you will seriously consider participating.
But when we think about the phrase B’ficha
U’livavecha – with our mouths and our hearts, we also must
acknowledge that it is not only with those with whom we
disagree that words need to carefully chosen and lovingly bestowed. On this
holiest night of the year, we also must recognize that we need to
carefully choose our words to those closest to us as well.
- Sitting here tonight is a teenager who longs for nothing more than to hear a kind word from a parent.
- Here among us tonight is a widow – who lives in the crushing empty silence of her home – waiting to hear from a son or daughter who never calls……
- Here tonight there are families and individuals who are new to our community – who long to hear the words: “Welcome! Nice to meet you!” They are looking to build new connections and friendships to fill the emptiness left behind by leaving their former communities.
- Here tonight is someone who made a big mistake – and who was punished. Now she is terrified that everyone who looks at her sees only the mistake she made – and not the person she has become. She, too longs to hear words of comfort and welcome.
- Sitting here tonight is someone looking for a spiritual path – who is disillusioned by the faith of their family and community and has come to this service to find, perhaps, one last opportunity to connect with God. This person is looking to hear words of meaning and purpose.
All of these people – and so many others
- are living with words that they long to hear – that they long
to say: words of welcome, words of faith, words of
apology – words of forgiveness - words of love – words of hope; words that could
build bridges of connection --- words that are frozen in the silence of their
absence.
And they are not alone. All of us, at some time
in our life, find ourselves trapped by our inability to find and to use the
words that we so desperately need to say to the most important people in our
lives – but for whatever reason, we do not.
And so, as I do every year on Kol Nidre, I ask
you: What are the heartfelt words you need to say to those around
you? To your family members and your friends? What is holding you
back? How can we make amends for the harm we have caused over the past
year that has contributed to the climate of confrontation and chaos
that has contaminated our national discourse? What are we waiting
for?
B’ficha Ul’va-ve-cha – in your mouth and
in your heart.
My dear friends – tonight can be a new beginning. Tonight,
at this sacred place – in this sacred time – we can change – we can heal – we
can make our world a little more holy. We can speak out and make
a difference. We can vote in November. We can savor the love and make new
connections that will allow us to listen to the possibility of Shalom – of
wholeness and fulfillment for which we so desperately strive.
May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our
hearts be acceptable in Your sight – O God, our Rock and our Redeemer.
AMEN – G’mar Chatimah tovah.
[i] Scott Simon on NPR weekend edition –
July 28, 2018 https://www.npr.org/2018/07/28/633199563/opinion-when-a-video-isnt-the-whole-story
[v] Dr. Martin Luther King: “The
Quest For Peace and Justice.” Nobel address – December 11, 1964 –
Oslo, Norway. https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/1964/king/lecture/
[vi] C.f. Wyman, David S.The Abandonment
of the Jews: America and the Holocaust 1941-1945.New York; Pantheon Books,
1984. Also – the following Bibliography is an excellent
source: http://www.history.ucsb.edu/faculty/marcuse/classes/33d/projects/usholo/USHoloLinksBib.htm
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