Israel in Crisis: Chaos and Creation. Shabbat Bereshit

 

Dear Friends,

Tonight’s service was supposed to be filled with opportunities for learning and celebration.  I was actually was supposed to be in New York – where I just left our Confirmation Students – with Cantor Sacks and Tema Cohen our Youth Director. We were having an amazing experience learning about Jewish history and heritage while bonding together as a class – but I felt it was more important for me to cut my trip short and be with you tonight.

Tonight, we are celebrating two B’nai Mitzvah.

We also are recognizing Pink Shabbat – our annual service where we teach about breast Cancer and help alert us to the impact of this disease and the importance of preventive care and treatment.

Tonight is also Meals and Mitzvah – where our students in the B’nai Mitzvah program come together to learn in preparation for their special days…

But, or course, what is in the front of all our minds is the tragedy that has befallen the State of Israel and the brutal war that is unfolding in front of us in Gaza. 

This past Monday night, our sanctuary was filled with thousands of people from all walks of life who came together to show support for Israel and find comfort in the shadow of the unspeakable horrors that were committed by the murderous Hamas Terrorists. The State of Israel is now at war – but, as we know, those responsible for the obscenities that took place are not content to limit their hatred to the soldiers or the citizens of the Jewish State – their vitriol and violence is now directed at Jews all around the world – wherever they may be.

On Tuesday evening, I attended a massive Rally in New York City that filled Dag Hammarskjöld Plaza next to the United Nations and spilled out into the streets. Israel’s ambassador to the UN, NY’s  Israeli counsel-General, NY Governor Katherine Hochul, Mayor Eric Adams, And Attorney General Letitia James spoke passionately about how important it is for our nation to be unified against terror. Since this was taking place in Manhatten, references to 9-11 were plentiful. I stood – like so many of you on Monday at our vigil here – with tears running down my face as prayers for the dead and wounded were chanted, Hatikvah was sung and throngs of people of all ages chanted: “Am Yisrael Chai” – the people of Israel live.

This past week we found out who our friends truly were.  The outpourings of compassion and empathy that I – personally - have received from well-wishers has been powerful. Over the past few days, I have received calls, texts and emails from Christian Pastors, Elected officials and even the Imam from the Downtown Mosque in Denver conveying their friendship, love, and support.

We also have witnessed those who did not feel compelled to step forward and show their support. There were some who used words like – “Cycle of violence” to justify the horrors committed against the State of Israel – or “militants” to describe bloodthirsty terrorists who committed atrocities against civilian men, women, children and infants: who desecrated one of the holiest days of the year with the blood of pure souls and paraded disembodied and mutilated corpses in the streets of Gaza…

We have heard the anti-Zionist tropes and claims that “Israel brought his tragedy upon herself” – as if the slaughter of innocents can ever be blamed on the victim.

For every inter-faith partner who reached out in support – there were at least 2 or 3 whose silence was deafening – and I noticed.  So did every other rabbi, cantor, Jewish professional and layperson. We are learning who are friends are – and we are, unfortunately, seeing those who are not.

We have been impacted by the terror tactics of propaganda and trauma-baiting. Today Hamas has called for a day of rage – not against Israel – but against the Jewish people. As you all know, we take our security very seriously. We have no choice. I hate the fact that funds that could be used for educational, social justice or pastoral programming have to be diverted to hiring armed security guards. But it is our reality in the world of increasing hatred, violence and anti-Semitism. And yet, after consulting with the authorities, we decided not to allow non-credible threats of violence against us to deter us from expressing our faith and our determination to stand up to the despicable monsters who desire to inflict pain on the State of Israel – by killing both Jews and their own people in order to gain the sympathy of a world that does not value Jewish life. Your overwhelming presence in our sanctuary tonight is the best answer to this kind of hatred and fear-mongering.

I grieve for my friends and family in Israel – all of whom have lost loved ones, colleagues and friends. And my grief is quickly turning to anger as I try to comprehend the kind of evil that has been, once again, foisted upon us – so soon after the tragedy of the Shoah…

In order to try to make sense of world events, tonight, I want to turn to words of Torah that have guided our people for generations.

 

This week, we begin a new cycle of Torah readings. We begin with the creation of the world – parshat Bereshit.

Our text reads:  Breshit Barah Elohim Et Ha Shamayim V’ha Aretz. V Ha-aretz Haytah Tohu Vavohu Vchoshech al ‘pnai Tehom– In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth – and the earth was Tohu Vavohu – chaotic and unformed – and darkness was on the face of the depths.

Prior to creation – all that existed was chaos and darkness. It wasn’t until God said “Let there be light” that there could be a division between the darkness and the light:

The act of Creation was a matter of Divine Will – God’s desire for order and light relegated the chaos and darkness to another place.

But we also read that God created Humanity – B’Tzelem Elohim – in the image of God – God gave us the ability and the responsibility to be partners in the unfolding of Creation.

Tonight – we have learned both the power of what happens when we activate the Divine within for good – and the horror of what happens when that Divine Spark is ignored or extinguished.

We need to be able to find the light in the midst of darkness – not an easy task right now

 

The acts of Barbarism we are witnessing are indications that the world is out of balance – this is a time of Tohu VaVohu

My colleague, Rabbi Geoff Mittleman writes:

“[W]hy [does] each day ends with the phrase “va’y’hi erev, va’y’hi voker” – “there was evening, there was morning.” We would expect that it would go, “there was morning, there was evening,” since our daily rhythm begins when we wake up and ends when we go to sleep. So why is the order reversed?…

Well, the word erev (“evening”) is also used to mean “chaos” (as in the phrase erev rav, a “mixed multitude,” in Exodus 12:38). And the word boker (“morning”) may [evoke] words related to either “split” or “investigate,” as in “putting things in order.” With the repetition of the words va’y’hi erev, va’y’hi voker, “There was evening, there was morning,” the story rhythmically evokes an idea of chaos, then order, at the end of each day of creation.

…One of the key messages from the opening chapters of Genesis, then is: if we do nothing, the world will remain tohu va’vohu, “wild and waste.” God brings order out of chaos, and if we see ourselves as created in the image of God, that is our job, as well.”[ https://sinaiandsynapses.org/content/order-and-chaos/?fbclid=IwAR1upmSvjq_9rdn4g40awITnpYPEXqdtm4PD6JS1UDAXqdVTLPzuHgnCGqQ]

As many of you know, there are two creation stories in Genesis:  The 6 days – followed by Shabbat, the Story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

When Adam and Eve disobey God by eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, they hide from God.  God calls out to Adam, saying: “Ayeka - where are you?”

There are many texts and midrashim that point out that this is a strange question:  Why does God ask Adam where he is?  Surely, the God who knows everything, also knew where Adam was!  The answer, of course, was that God was not asking Adam for a geographical location, but rather an existential one.  Did Adam know where he was in relationship to his values, his meaning and purpose in life? His Humanity itself?

 – In the face of horror, in the wake of condemnation – it’s easy to want to tune it out – and there are times when we must remove ourselves from the Tohu and Vohu – this is not one of them.  This is not just Israel’s fight – this is all of us – everywhere….

Tonight you will not hear words of comfort – because I don’t know how to comfort a grieving mother whose baby was beheaded.

·               I don’t know any words of comfort for the parent of a teenager who was brutally abducted by terrorists filled with hatred.

·               I don’t have words of comfort for the spouse of a soldier who is risking their life in Gaza -searching house to house for a captive elderly holocaust survivor who was ripped from the safety and comfort of her home

·               I don’t have words of comfort for the young child was was kidnapped to serve as a human shield to protect terrorists capable of indescribably horror.

·               I don’t know words of comfort for the parent who witnessed their daughter’s abused body being dragged throught the streets amidst the jubilation of onlookers.

·               We have no choice but to acknowledge that we are living in a time of tohu and vohu- chaos and confusion.

 

We all must ask ourselves at this time:  Ayeka?  Where are you? 

My dear friends – the images emerging from Israel and Gaza are horrific. We know that many more Israeli and Palestinian lives will be lost in the battle for the soul – not only of Israel and Palestine – but the entire world.

Simply put – Hamas cannot be allowed to sacrifice the lives of Israeli or Palestinian civilians any more. They must be destroyed. Those who find it easy to overlook the horror of Terror and find an easy target of the State of Israel will not be silent – be neither should we.

We who value life above all else must be vigilant in our pursuit of peace – even when it brings great pain.  AS Golda Meir so famously said in her autobiography:

 “When peace comes, we will perhaps in time be able to forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but it will be harder for us to forgive them for having forced us to kill their sons. Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.”

Know that as the pressure mounts on Israel and on those who love and support her, we – your synagogue – and the entire Jewish Community will serve as a refuge for sanity – a place to grieve, question, learn and pray for peace. Thank you all for your support, your love and your generosity.  We have shared links for those who wish to donate to support Israel in her time of need.  Please give – and give generously. It is the least we can do.

Shabbat Shalom

50 Years after the Yom Kippur War: We are All Jonah - Kol Nidre 5784

[Photo credit]

My Dear Friends,

How many of you remember Yom Kippur of 1973?

50 years ago, on Yom Kippur morning, October 6, 1973, when I was 14 years old, the sanctity of our holiest day of the year was violently and irrevocably disrupted when the armies of Syria and Egypt launched cross-border attacks through the Sinai and the Golan Heights against the State of Israel.  For the first 48 hours, the Arab armies experienced significant victories against the IDF, but eventually their onslaught was thwarted, and Israel went on to defeat her enemies. Victory came at a very high price, however. The casualty count was unbearable - 2,656 Israeli souls were lost in the fierce fighting. In the war’s aftermath, the transformation of the political landscape was swift and radical. The center-left political establishment upon which the nation was founded was dismantled, and a new era of politics was set in motion that ultimately led to the ascension of Menachem Begin’s Far-Right Likud party.

Walking into my synagogue on this holiest of days 50 years ago and seeing and hearing television sets and radios blaring was an experience I will never forget.  I remember how my Rabbi, David Polish – of blessed memory - set aside his Yom Kippur sermon and organized an impromptu emergency fund-raising campaign.  I remember the worry etched on the faces of my parents and their friends who were desperately afraid that Israel might not make it through the first 48 hours. Many in our community at the time were survivors of the Shoah. Their fear was real, horrific, and ever-present – the State of Israel was the ultimate answer to their own experience of Hitler’s evil. On that day, all Jews were united in love, concern, and support of the Jewish State.

Much has changed since that fateful Yom Kippur morning 50 years ago.

• While Israel still faces military threats from Iran and its proxies;
• While the occupation of the West Bank and the military control of Gaza remain as flash points for both terror attacks and international condemnation;
• While Israel must continue to remain vigilant against the enemies that seek its destruction,

…it no longer faces the same kind of threat with which it was confronted half a century ago. But, despite Israel’s current military and economic strength, the vision of a Democratic, Jewish State is threatened – not from external armies, terrorists, or even diplomatic isolation. No – on this Yom Kippur the very real, existential threat that the State of Israel faces comes from within – and I believe (and I am not alone…) that this is the greatest danger it has faced in its 75 year history.

Let me explain.  As I have repeatedly shared from this pulpit, the current political leadership in Israel is the most extreme of any previous government. In order to gain a ruling coalition after the last election, Prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu joined forces with far-right, Ultra- Orthodox, fundamentalist firebrands like Itamar Ben G’vir, and Betzalel Smotrich – both of whom have long rap sheets filled with violent, racist, Kahanist, misogynistic anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-Reform Jewish statements and actions. In addition to plotting to weaken the Supreme court, members of this coalition have pledged to expand settlement in the West Bank, cut funding to non-orthodox institutions and organizations in Israel, remove protections for the LGBTQ+ population, limit the rights of Palestinians, implement far-right religious policies on transportation and cultural events, and end any hopes for a Palestinian State alongside Israel.

I strongly condemn the actions of the current governing coalition in Israel. I am not alone in these sentiments. These concerns have been echoed by politicians and pundits, religious leaders, and activists around the world and across multiple political extremes – from Far-Left to mainstream Right Wing.

For the past 38 weeks, hundreds of thousands of Israelis have been gathering in the streets of almost every major city in Israel to protest the overreach of the Netanyahu government.

This past week, as the Israeli Prime Minister arrived in New York to address the General Assembly of the United Nation, thousands of American and Israeli Jews gathered outside Dag Hammarskjold Plaza in New York to protest against the dangerous, far-right, racist, and misogynist policies that have been proposed. This was not a fringe group of activists.  They were joined by leaders and representatives of many American Jewish Institutions - including the Reform and Conservative movements.

Israel is divided. Tensions are higher than they have ever been. Michael Oren, who served as Israeli Ambassador to the United States in 2009 for Benjamin Netanyahu’s then-governing coalition – certainly not a left-wing firebrand – recently wrote the following: 

Israel stands at a fateful crossroads. In one direction lies chaos and conflict, and, in the other - conciliation, prosperity, and peace. I call on all Israeli politicians to love Israel more than they hate one another and to join in a national unity government that will reach a compromise on judicial reform, resolve the issues of Haredi education and national service, sideline the radicals, and achieve peace with the Sunni world. Future generations of Jews are looking at us for courage. History will judge. 

As many of you know, this past April, I was honored to serve as a delegate for the Reform movement to the World Zionist Congress. Some of you heard my reflections following this remarkable experience. I’m going to share some of my experience tonight as well. The First Congress was held in 1897 in Basel Switzerland.  It came about because Theodor Herzl called for Representatives from Zionist organizations from around the Jewish world to come to Basel to debate and decide on the future of the Zionist Movement. 

 

Today – The main purpose of the Congress – which meets every 5-6 years -is to set forward an agenda for education and allocation of resources from the World Zionist Organization and it’s affiliates – including, ARZA – (the American Reform Zionist Association), Haddasah, B’nai Brith, and other groups-that run the gamut of ideological and political thought in the Zionist world.

As I shared this past April upon my return, during the Conference, I kept hearing about three key values around which the foundation of the State of Israel was established 75 years ago:

• Judaism
• Zionism, and
• Democracy

We use these words all the time – and yet, depending on who says them, they have radically different meanings.

So let’s start with JUDAISM:       

The modern state of Israel is a Jewish State. It was founded to create both a place of refuge and a center of holiness, education, and innovation for our people – and it has succeeded in ways that attendees at that first Zionist Congress in Basel - 126 years ago could never, in their wildest dreams have imagined.

Israel has produced poets, artists, Intellectual giants, and, of course, technological innovation that literally has changed the world. All these incredible successes have been a source of pride and are part and parcel of our Jewish identity since Israel’s inception.

And yet, despite Israel’s many successes, the question of the role of Judaism - culturally, spiritually, and theologically - has become one of the greatest threats to Israel’s stability – and some even posit, its survival.

In 1948, David Ben Gurion – Israel’s first Prime Minister, deliberately avoided the question of how to define the Jewish character of the nascent State – other than to establish the Law Of Return which immediately granted citizenship to anyone who has Jewish ancestry. Questions of “Who is a Jew?”, and “How should Jewish life be recognized, celebrated and defined,” were put off.  The Chief Rabbinate of Israel was granted limited, but significant authority over life-cycle events and Jewish identity, and the ultra-orthodox community was allowed to segregate themselves from many aspects of daily life – including serving in the Israel Defense Forces.

Over the past decades, tensions have risen between the secular and religious communities. Ben Gurion’s avoidance of the question of Jewish identity – while prescient at the time - is coming back to bite us now.      

The current government is attempting codify religious exemptions to the draft and rewrite the Law of Return so that only those who fit a narrow definition of being Jewish would be allowed access to citizenship.  This would exclude any non-ultra-orthodox converts to Judaism and anyone who was not born of a Jewish mother.  This has severe implications for all of us.

Jews who live active and committed secular, Reform, Conservative or Modern Orthodox Jewish lives could quite possibly find themselves without a connection to Israel if some of these legislative reforms are passed. As a result, we are seeing an acceleration of alienation from, dissatisfaction with, and most alarming of all: apathy towards the Jewish State. 

Which brings us to our second value:  ZIONISM

One of the key takeaways from my participation in the Zionist Congress was the realization that, while all the delegates and factions passionately believed in and supported the Zionist ideal of a Jewish State, their lived experiences, expectations, and relationship to both the land and people of Israel today varied widely.

Many of us grew up with the image of a State founded upon principles embodied by the Labor Party and the kibbutz movement.  Leaders such as Chaim Weitzman, David Ben Gurion, Golda Meir, and others represented the triumph of the pioneering spirit that rose out of the ashes of the Shoah and built a country that would shine as a light to all Nations – an example of strength and resistance to the Jew hatred that has plagued our people throughout history.

But, while the founders of Israel were mostly White, Ashkenazi - or Northern European Jews, today’s reality is different. Sephardic and Mizrachi – North African – Jews, who – for generations were relegated to 2nd class status in Israel, today have a powerful political, spiritual, and social voice- as they should in a Democratic society. While the pain of the Shoah resonates throughout the land and is a central canon in Israel’s history, it is not a universally shared experience. Those Jews who came to Israel from Morocco, Tunisia, Yemen, Egypt and other places throughout the Levant had their own generational trauma.  Jews from Ethiopia and, to a large extent, the Former Soviet Union also are appropriately raising their voices and wielding political power. The image of the pioneering kibbutznik hero is part of the past – and, until recently, the Left has been in decline. This may be changing due to the overwhelming numbers of weekly protestors– but we will have to wait to see what will happen on that front.

This plays out in multiple arenas. The progressive wing of Israeli politics has been largely overshadowed and shut down by populist, anti-Arab and Anti-Palestinian sentiment. In addition, the ongoing occupation of the West Bank and the continued attacks from Gaza – propelled, in large part by increases in Islamic fundamentalism brought on by despair has heightened security concerns – thereby reducing the size and power of the peace camp.

And finally:  DEMOCRACY

Israel is a democratic country. Full Stop.  And yet, the process of governing in Israel looks very different than what we imagine takes place in America – even during this chaotic moment in American history – with all of its dysfunction.

• It’s messy
• It’s loud
• It’s passionate – there’s a lot of yelling

We saw this in full force at the Zionist Congress where bedlam frequently broke out in small group debate and the floor of the plenum.

But it is also very apparent that Israeli Democracy is under attack – and the few safeguards that currently exist are endangered. 75 years ago, after the State was established, war immediately broke out and Israel did not have the luxury of setting up a constitutional convention. To this day, there is still no Constitution. The Israeli Declaration of Independence and the basic laws that govern Israel have served as a sort of Interim foundation for governance.  The only check and balance that served to protect Democracy was the Supreme Court – which is now weakened by this government.

Let me be perfectly clear: Debate over Judicial Reform is not inappropriate. It is worthy of a Democratic state. The problem is that THIS current government is hell bent, not only on reforming the judiciary, but rendering it impotent against what many believe to be a corrupt and authoritarian agenda. It is for this reason that chants of DE-MPKRAT-YA are echoing through the streets of Israel at the weekly protests.

While Benyamin Netanyahu and his Likud party did receive the slimmest majority of votes in the last election (after four failed elections in as many years), polls show more than 2/3rd of Israelis are against the radical plans to reshape the religious, political and cultural character of the State of Israel. And yet, Netanyahu and his compatriots are determined to bulldoze their agenda through the Knesset despite the dangers it poses to both Israeli society and world Jewish partnership.

A word about the protests that have been taking place. These are not protests against the State of Israel. On the contrary, what we are witnessing is an eruption of Israeli Patriotism.

The weekly massive protests are not political in nature – despite the desperate attempts of Prime Minister Netanyahu to paint them as such.

No – they are protests of love and concern for the very essence of the Zionist ideal upon which the nation was founded. I was able to participate in 3 of them and they were truly inspiring.

If we compare the number of protestors in the streets of Israel every week to their equivalent in the United States it would be the same as 10 million weekly demonstrators here. Think about that!

• The march on Washington at the Lincoln Memorial in 1968 had 200,000 people who gathered to hear the stirring words of Dr. Martin Luther King.
• 400,000 people marched through the streets of our capital at the woman’s march of 2017.
• 500,000 people participated in the Black Lives Matter protests around the country on June 6, 2020,.

Nothing comes close to what we are witnessing on a continuing basis in Israel.

Now there are some who feel – perhaps some who are here tonight - that any critique of Israel from within the Jewish community is irresponsible and inappropriate. They agree with Prime Minister Netanyahu and his coalition who have consistently tried to paint the hundreds of thousands of Israelis taking to the streets on a weekly basis as traitors to the Zionist ideal. Even the increasing number of IDF reservists, former generals and chiefs of the Mossad who are unambiguous in their warnings about the grave danger the current Government’s agenda poses to the safety, security, and economy are seen as illegitimate and are the targets of vitriol and personal attack.

On the opposite side of the equation, there are many who feel  - perhaps some of you are here tonight as well - that Israel can do no right. They have cast their lot with the Palestinian cause and label Israel as an apartheid state. Nothing short of dismantling the idea of a Jewish State will appease their opposition.

What concerns me most, however, are those in the American Jewish Community who are tired of hearing about Israel.

…..Perhaps some of you are here tonight as well…..

They feel no connection whatsoever. Israel is just not important. This, my friends, is a worrying trend.

Why should we care about what is happening in Israel? We are not Israelis…. I’ll tell you why:

Because when we see Jews carrying out racist, misogynistic, messianic and fundamentalist policies; when we see attacks on women’s rights, on Reform Judaism and on basic human decency; when Democratic values are threatened by greed, authoritarianism and corruption – our tradition commands us to act.

Also – if these initiatives are allowed to bear fruit – then Israel will become a legitimate target of international condemnation. As my friend, colleague, and fellow delegate to the World Zionist Congress, Rabbi Ken Chasen – Sr. Rabbi of Leo Baeck Temple in Los Angeles writes:

When Israel is seen as a bad actor in the world, antisemitism increases everywhere. Jews everywhere suffer. We suffer. We become easily divided. We lose political power. We are targeted by hate speech and hate acts. You might wish to disown Israel when you feel it is misbehaving, but history has shown that the world will not let you .

Tomorrow we will read from the book of Jonah. We will hear how Jonah was a reluctant prophet who receives a message from God to prophesy to the Ninevites and warn them of their destruction if they do not repent. Instead of heeding the divine call, Jonah runs away. But ultimately, Jonah’s fate catches up with him and he carries out the divine command.

On This Yom Kippur – this day of atonement – we are all Jonah. While we might want to hide our heads in the proverbial sand of complacency or run away from acknowledging that our beloved Jewish State is sliding towards authoritarianism, we cannot escape the reality we are facing. We are inexorably linked to the state of  Israel: through our history, our faith and our birthright.

 

So, what can we, as American Jews, do to address these very serious concerns on this – the holiest night of the Jewish Calendar? Our first task is to recommit ourselves to supporting the State of Israel – even when we disagree. Please understand, our support must come from a place of concern and love. When members of our family lose their way, we do not abandon them – any more than we enable their self-destructive behavior. Words of rebuke – even condemnation - must come from the heart. We show our love by showing our concern.

Secondly – we must find ways to support the organizations and institutions in Israel that reflect our own values and are on the front lines of combatting authoritarianism and promoting our egalitarian and democratic values.

In particular, I urge everyone to support ARZA – the American Reform Zionist Association - and the World Union for Progressive Judaism. Following Yom Kippur, we will be sending you links that will tell you how you can show your support.

[Click HERE for a link to donate]

I want to conclude my remarks tonight with a prayer written by Anat Hoffman - a dear friend f our congregation and the former Director the Israel Religious Action Center and a founder of Women of the Wall:

My God,

At this sacred moment, give us hope for Israel and her future.

Renew our wonder at the miracle of the Jewish State.

In the name of the pioneers who made the deserts bloom - give us the tools to cultivate a diversity of Jewish expression in Israel.

In the name of our fallen soldiers - give us courage to stand up to the words and ways of the zealots. Those in our own midst and those among our neighbors.

In the name of Israeli inventors who have amazed the world with their innovations - help us apply the same ingenuity to finding a path to peace.

In the name of all these women and men - grant us the strength to conquer doubt and despair in Israel.

Replacing doubt with action.

Replacing despair with hope.

And let us say:

Amen  

G’mar Chatimah Tovah – May we all be inscribed for a blessing in the New Year. 

A Letter To My Grandson: "Dear Ezzy". Rosh HaShanah Morning, 5764 - 2023

Dear Friends,

Two years ago, on Yom Kippur, I gave a sermon in anticipation of the wedding of our daughter, Elana - to her (and our) beloved Greg. In that sermon, I shared a letter to Elana, and I concluded that sermon with the words:

“[Elana,] …I promise that I won’t make you the centerpiece of another public letter on the High Holidays…for a while at least. I’ll save the next one for our Grandchildren.   

No pressure….

Love – Dad”

I am nothing, if not a man of my word. So here is a letter to our first grandson.

My Dear Ezra Ray,

During the 9 months prior to your birth, your Grandma Sue and I were so excited! All our friends who were grandparents told us how amazing it was going to be. “You can’t understand it until you experience it...”- they would say. “It’s the best club in the world.”

And you know, they were right.

Ezzy - the love that we feel for you is overwhelming.  We felt the same way when your mother and uncle Ethan were born. And yet it’s not the same – because WE are not the same.

You see, there’s a difference between imagining something and experiencing it firsthand. It reminds me of the story of the man who commissioned a brand-new sidewalk in front of his house.  As it was curing, he put up a large sign that said: “NO kids or dogs on the sidewalk!”  He sat on his front porch to keep guard. Sure enough, a group of children approached the sidewalk and were about to draw in the wet cement when the man saw them and started to scream: “get away from there you little monsters!” One of the mothers of the children ran to comfort her upset child and said to the man: “Sir – you don’t have to scare them like that!  Don’t you like children?”  He replied, “Madam, I like children very much – but in the abstract, not the concrete!”

 

Ezzy - not everyone wants to be or can be a parent – even fewer are given the opportunity to become a grandparent – I understand this. When I was writing these words, I struggled with how deep I should go. I knew that there might be some here this morning for whom my words could be painful– especially those who are unable to have, or are estranged from children or grandchildren. It’s also important for you to know that there are multiple ways to raise the next generation. There are many loving and caring adoptive, step and “honorary” moms, dads, and grandparents. Teachers, mentors, coaches, and counselors all play a huge role in supporting and nurturing our kids. The love that they bring is just as beautiful, life-affirming, and monumental as what we feel for you. So, for those who may see yourselves in this category – know that I see you. I feel you. I understand your pain.

 

Ezzy - I need you to know that becoming a grandfather – a Saba – as I hope you’ll call me – has impacted me profoundly. I am a different person today because of you. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Truth be told Ezzy, we all have key moments in our lives that help to put everything into perspective.

• When we stand under the chuppah with our beloved life-partner
• When we graduate from college, or change careers
• When we lose a loved one
• When we receive exciting news
• When our doctor gives us the diagnosis that confirms our worst fears…
• When world events shake our souls with joy, wonder, or concern….

All these – and many other - moments change us and cause us to see ourselves and our world in a new light. They also have the potential to teach important lessons. YOU, Ezzy have taught your family so much in the 9 weeks since you have been born. So today, on this first day of a new year, I want to share three of the lessons that I have learned from you.

The first lesson is:  WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL

When you were born, Ezzy, many people reached out to us with love, joy, presents, and advice. One gift we received from dear friends was the book, Nanaville by Anna Quinlan. This short memoir teaches many important lessons.  The number one lesson it imparts is that grandparents must allow their children to take the lead in raising their offspring. The only time to offer advice is when we are asked – even when we think we may know that we could do things better. We need to keep our opinions to ourselves..

I know this firsthand Ezzy – I have been told quite clearly by your mom and dad that I must limit the number of pictures of you that I post on social media AND that I am not allowed to share them without their permission.  This is a hard pill for me to swallow….and …..your parents are absolutely correct.

But sometimes it’s more complicated…

As clergy, my colleagues and I often meet with congregants who are dealing with painful situations. Some of the most gut-wrenching conversations I have had over the years have been with grandparents who are prevented from seeing their children and grandchildren. Sometimes it is clear why they are kept away. Other times – it is harder to understand. Families are complicated. Grudges and feuds can be destructive. The pain and frustration that all sides feel can be overwhelming.

But it isn’t always that extreme. I recently was asked to join a Facebook group for Jewish grandparents. I initially thought it would be fun. It would be an opportunity to share photos, joys, and shep naches (share joy…).  But I soon realized that, along with cute pictures and advice on the best place to take the little ones for ice cream, there were also posts from people who were frustrated, angry and hurt that their children would not listen to them or allow them to see their precious grandchildren as much as they wanted. There was a lot of “Why won’t my children listen to me?  They have no idea what they are doing!  I did a good job of raising them! What did I do to deserve this?”

Now, while I’m sure that the pain and frustration that these grandparents are sharing is real – the truth is, what most of them are experiencing is the vital process of their children setting boundaries with and for them.

There’s a saying that every grandparent knows:  Becoming a grandparent is the reward for being a parent because we get to spoil our grandchildren – and then give them back to our kids. I’m sure that this is true. The flip side of this, however, is that it is also our job to love and support their parents – on their terms – not ours. As fun as it is to see our children dealing with the same frustrations that we dealt with when we were young, we aren’t calling the shots anymore.

The concept that we are not in control is also one of the central themes of these Yamim Noraim¬ – High Holy Days. Each year, we stand before God, confess our sins and shortcomings  and greet each other with the words: L’Shanah Tovah Tikateyvu – May you have a good New Year and be inscribed for blessing in the Book of Life. If you think about it, that’s an intense greeting! It means: “May you live another year!” As much as we want to control our fate – and that of those whom we love – we cannot. The words of the Unetaneh tokef - “Who shall live and who shall die…?”- are both problematic and powerful. We don’t know what the future will bring. But we work, hope, and pray for the best. In light of all this uncertainty, our task is to strive to be a blessing to ourselves and our loved ones.

 

And this brings me to my second lesson that I have learned from you: 

SAVOR EVERY MOMENT.

Ezzy – you and your parents live so far away! We wish we could see more of you!

The truth is – we’re not moving to New York – where you live, and your parents probably aren’t moving here to Denver anytime soon.

As such, your grandma Sue and I relish every moment we get to share with you and your parents. We’ve been fortunate over the past two months to spend time together –

• when you were first born,
• last month at a family wedding in Minneapolis
• and now you are all with us for Rosh Hashanah.

But it’s not enough – it’s never enough. We will always want more. During your first week of life, Sue and I took turns every other night rocking you in your nursery so your parents could get some rest. We didn’t sleep much – but we didn’t care. I never tired of gazing at your beautiful face. I loved every second – even the non-stop crying and the dirty diapers….  Every moment was and is a gift.

In the torah portion we heard chanted so beautifully this morning, the Akeydah – the Binding of Isaac – We read the following text from Genesis 22:1-4

Some time afterward, God put Abraham to the test, saying to him, “Abraham.” He answered, “Hineyni - Here I am.”

“Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains that I will point out to you.”

So early next morning, Abraham saddled his ass and took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. He split the wood for the burnt offering, and he set out for the place that God had told him.

On the THIRD day Abraham looked up and saw the place from afar.

There’s a lot going on in this text. This morning, however, I only want to focus on how the passage of time shifts during the narrative. The wording is sparse, emotionless. Three days go by in a flash.

Later, however, everything changes, and time shifts. In verses 9 -11, the description of Abraham’s thwarted attempt to carry out God’s horrific command seems to take place in slow motion.

They arrived at the place of which God had told him. Abraham built an altar there; he laid out the wood; he bound his son Isaac; he laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.

And Abraham picked up the knife to slay his son.

Then, (at the last moment possible,) a messenger of יהוה called to him from heaven: “Abraham! Abraham!” And he answered, Hineyni “Here I am.”

There will be moments in your life, Ezzy, when everything seems to be happening too quickly. At other times, each second will seem like an eternity. I’m beginning to realize that the older I get, the faster time passes. This is going to sound cliché – but it doesn’t seem all that long ago that we were holding your mom , and then your uncle, Ethan - sleep deprived- and rocking them to sleep.

One of the key words in our Torah portion, Ezzy, is Abraham’s response to God’s call: “Hineyni – Here I am.”

Ezzy, as you grow, I pray that you will allow yourself to be fully present – to appreciate the beauty, the love, the successes and even the mistakes you make – and you will have plenty of both. Time is precious, my beloved grandson. Savor every moment. Answer the call with Hineyni¬ -Here I Am!!!

And finally, the third, and perhaps most important lesson that I want to leave you with is:

Leave a Legacy.

It may sound strange to talk to a 9 -week-old baby about leaving a legacy, but you see, Ezzy, you are already part of multiple legacies. As your parents shared so beautifully at your Brit Milah ceremony, your middle name – Ray (Raviv in Hebrew) - is in honor of two powerful women of blessed memory:  Reva Rosenbloom and Rachel (or Ray) Gleitman. Reva was your mother’s grandmother. She was a community leader in Minneapolis and a past president of the Minneapolis Jewish Federation. She had a passion for tzedakah, beauty, and the Jewish people. Your other namesake, Bubbi Ray - your father’s grandmother – was a survivor of the Holocaust who, despite the horrors she experienced, looked at the world with joy and passion – and she shared it with everyone she met. You have inherited a powerful legacy of caring, perseverance, service and love that will remain with you throughout your life.

Returning to our Torah portion, Commentators throughout the ages have struggled with multiple aspects of our narrative. Abraham is faced with a quandary. The same God who – just a few chapters earlier – had told him that his ancestors would be as numerous as the sand in the sea or the stars in the sky has just told him to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac. Abraham experiences an existential crisis: If he wants to preserve his legacy, he must disobey God. If he carries out God’s brutal command, then God was lying about his legacy.  Either outcome was unacceptable.

As we know, Ezzy, Abraham, in the end, was stopped from carrying out this horrible deed. And yet, his dilemma represents – in the most basic and primal form – the eternal fear that our legacy will not live beyond our current generation. We have so many hopes for you! We want you to live a long, joyous, and healthy life.  We want you to become a good Jew - a good person: kind, caring and creative. We want you to study Torah, rejoice in Shabbat, and give back to our people. We want you to love music and the arts, to explore the mountains and learn to ski. We want you to have a good sense of humor. We want you to go to summer camp, travel to Israel and around the world, and most of all: be a mentsch- and, knowing your parents, I have no doubt that you will be.

Ezzy – as I look at you and marvel at how much love you inspire in me – and everyone who meets you – I am also reminded that you also represent your grandparent’s personal legacies. Long after we are gone, you will be carrying forth our genes, values, and history.

But there are many other kinds of legacies. You don’t need to be a parent or grandparent to make a difference. There are teachers, mentors, artists, philanthropists, scientists, healers, and thinkers who change the world through their love, caring, generosity, and brilliance.

As our president, Wendy Nekritz shared in her remarks earlier this morning, this year marks Temple Emanuel’s 150th anniversary.  For the next 12 months, our holy community will be lifting up the Heritage and Harmony that has defined our spiritual Home. We will not only be celebrating, we also will be learning, sharing our history, envisioning the future, traveling together, performing acts of service, and embarking on an aspirational and life-changing fund-raising campaign that will help to ensure our congregation’s legacy as we begin the next exciting chapter of Temple Emanuel’s history. This historic milestone is also a watershed moment - a challenge - if you will. Can our community step up, raise these essential funds, and commit to ensuring that the generations to come will be able to share in what we are building today? I believe that we can, and we will because we must. We owe it to the generations to come.

Ezzy – we can’t wait to watch you grow and see your already strong personality continue to develop. The love we feel for you is immeasurable. Although you’re only 9 weeks old, you have already taught us so much. You have shown me that, even though I am not in control, I will savor every moment that I can, and work to create a legacy for you and all who will come after you. I promise that your grandma and I, your uncles, aunts, cousins and parents will always be there for you.

Oh…. And I also promise that the next letter I share publicly won't be until your bar mitzvah.

L’shanah Tovah -   Love, Saba

 

Reflection On the Decision to Punish the Tree of Life Murderer with the Death Penalty.

(The following essay was published on August 3, 2023 as an Op-Ed in the Denver Post.  Here is a direct link to the article:  https://www.denverpost.com/2023/08/03/tree-of-life-synagogue-death-penalty-opinion/)

On the morning of Oct. 27, 2018, I was in synagogue when my Apple watch started incessantly vibrating with multiple text messages. Normally, during services, I turn off all my electronics, but for some reason, my watch was still connected to the internet.

Given the volume of messages that kept repeating, I had a feeling that something important was happening. I glanced down at my watch and saw the first reports of a mass shooting taking place. I remember slipping out of the chapel, turning on my phone and discovering, to my horror, that a man had broken into the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh with an automatic weapon, opened fire and killed 11 innocent congregants.

I returned to the service and, with tears in my eyes, shared the awful news with my stunned congregation. Wednesday we learned that a jury had decided that the guilty party would receive the death penalty for his horrific crime.

When the perpetrator of this act of racist and antisemitic violence (whose name I will not mention) was found guilty on all counts this past June, I felt a palpable sense of relief. Justice had been done and this evil human would be punished for his horrific crime. Upon hearing the news that he would be given the death penalty, however, I felt a sense of unease and trauma – similar to what I felt when I learned about his murderous act in the first place.

The Torah teaches that there are multiple crimes for which the death penalty can be imposed – from violating the Sabbath, to disobeying one’s parents, to idolatry, murder, and bestiality. And yet, while the texts instructing us on how to impose capital punishment are abundant, Jewish tradition does not condone the death penalty. As Judaism has evolved over the centuries, the ancient Rabbis made its application practically impossible. In the 75-year history of the State of Israel only one person has ever been executed by a court of law: Adolph Eichman – the architect of Hitler’s Final Solution — and even that sentence was hotly debated within the courts and around the kitchen tables of every citizen in the Jewish State.For me, the central issue is truly none of the above. The issue of capital punishment revolves not around how we see the most evil elements of society — but how we perceive ourselves. Are we going to allow our fear of crime, our desire for vengeance, our BOTTOM-LINE mentality govern how we conduct ourselves? Capital punishment is a quick fix. It may be popular with the voters. It may make some of us feel good or politicians look good as they get tough on crime. But I believe that ultimately it lessens our own humanity when we take the life of another person – no matter how depraved their action may have been.

Those who have committed atrocities need to be punished. They cannot be a part of a civilized society. But I firmly believe that one of the prices of being “civilized” is taking on the responsibility to act in a way that is consistent with our own internal holiness.

All religious traditions teach that one day humanity will be judged. I believe that our judgment will not merely revolve around how we treated the best in our society but how we treated the worst as well. There is evil in the world. There are predators and murderers among us who deserve to be separated and cut off from civilization. For some there can be no rehabilitation.

The price we pay for living in a civilized, moral world is living with the fact that we cannot totally eliminate this evil.  But we can assert that we – as a sacred community – will not allow ourselves to stoop to their level.  We should not become murderers as well.